Tuesday, May 8, 2012
An excerpt from The Journey toward Motherhood, from the book, MommyBest...
Since I was absolutely positive I would be having a girl, it was the biggest surprise of my life when I gave birth to a son.
The instant I held him, I felt a bond like no other—a bond that reached into the depths of my soul, beyond expression, beyond comprehension. I realized along with a baby, a mother had been born-- a parent was in the making.
As I looked into my son’s innocent eyes, I knew I had always been destined to become a mother, even though I hadn’t been ready to acknowledge this while I was achieving all the goals I was determined to accomplish. I was too scared of losing my own identity and too busy proving I was someone “more” and something “else.”
Although I had taken a different road than the one my mother followed toward motherhood, I realized we both arrived at our destinations on time-- the time that was right for each of us. We are two women, similar in some ways and different in others, somewhat products of the eras that we grew--up in, somewhat products of our unique personas.
Now, as I listen to my music, my heart soars as I dream dreams for my son:
Who will he become? What will he enjoy doing? Which paths will he follow? How shall I guide him? How will he guide me?
As his mother, I am embarking upon an amazing journey-- like no other journey I’ve been on-- one toward true self-discovery! I begin this journey with a deep love, gratitude and respect for one who has traveled through the precarious terrain and rough waters of motherhood before me, my own mother. I understand her sacrifice and love –and now perceive her as a woman of greatness for all she has given to her children.
I also recognize I am becoming more of an independent person by pursuing my dreams-as my son has helped me to find a new voice in my writing. I must bring to him the best person I can be first, and then I’ll be the best Mommy to him-- when my choices reflect who I am at any given moment in my life. No matter which direction my path turns, I am a mother. I am Derek’s Mom—now and forever!